Hereditary

Produced by the same people who did The Witch, the second I started watching the trailer for Hereditary I KNEW I had to see it on opening weekend.  It was going to be the best damn scary movie ever.  It looked creepy and it had a deep storyline. The cast included a few of my all-time favorites, Gabriel Byrne and Toni Collette.

I talked this up for a week to get my best friend to go see it with me.  Scary is not really his thing, but he did like The Witch, so he reluctantly agreed.

Hereditary came out to rave reviews and score of 94% on Rotten Tomatoes.

I got my tickets for the latest show on the first Saturday night and showed up early to my seat.  Drink in hand, some chocolate, some popcorn and an empty bladder – I wasn’t planning on missing a second of this.

The theater was PACKED.  Apparently, I was not the only one looking so forward to this movie.

So, let me tell you how this went down.

It started off slow.  It stayed that way.

The movie begins with a family going to the funeral for the mother of Annie (Toni Collette).  Pretty much every second after that you see this poor family riddled with grief, guilt, and anguish like some kind of jacked-up disease there is no cure for and nobody cares enough to even look for one.  This went on for about 2 hours and 4 minutes.  I mean there was not one single happy moment.

This was absolutely the most disturbing movie I have ever seen.  I don’t mean in a scary way.  It was just plain f-ed up.

Now, I am known amongst friends and all that know me to be a cusser.  I and about 3/4 of the theater dropped an array of very loud F-Bombs during THE one REALLY BIG scene. If there is ever something you can’t unsee, it was this.

I can’t believe they did it.  I mean, it was wrong on so many levels and there were dozens of other ways it could have been done.  And then the following 4 scenes just added to the astonishment of it all.

The last 10 minutes of the movie, something that was supposed to be scary had the audience I was a part of literally and unapologetically laughing out loud.

I did scream 3 times during the movie, so there are some scary parts.

My suggestion is to not ever see it.  Not ever.  Not even on DVD.  Not even if someone else is paying for the rental.  Not even if it is free.  Not even if they buy you breakfast and give you a $20. Not if you are high and free candy is offered.

And the only spoiler I am giving away here…

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The dog dies.  It was so fucking unnecessary.


Starring:

  • Alex Wolff
  • Gabriel Byrne
  • Toni Collette
  • Milly Shapiro

 

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